-A Zoological study
This researcher’s zoological study on the NPA (Nagpur Party Animal) was met with great acclaim by scholars and scientists. Eager to learn more, they commissioned a more focused zoological study to be done on the NFS Species! (Nagpur Female Socialite).
This researcher was very reluctant to undertake this assignment, Fearing for life and limb, as he knows how dangerous this species can get if provoked. But finally, bowed to worldwide pressure.
The NFS are a very active and competitive species to be found at parties, weddings, clubs cafes etc. Geographically their habitat is the ‘Nagpur Mahanagar Palika’ limits, but they are very often found flocking in Pench and Goa!
They are good drinkers, poor eaters and have a great affinity for fashion and brands. They are primarily a nocturnal breed, known for their late-night social activity and ability to make pointless small talk for hours on end!
Here are some key observations.
Observed that the NFS is very westernised and visually looks like she could be from London or New York, as she is draped from head to toe in Zara, H&M, Louis Vuitton, Channel etc, and uses foreign perfumes, makeup, handbags and accessories, Also, International in her choice of beverages, she will indulge in Tequila, Gin, Cocktails etc.
However, In speech and conversation, she is ‘hybrid’ and will switch between English and Hindi as the occasion warrants. But in other matters like Food (Gol Guppe, Rajma Chawal, Chole Bhature ) and Music (Bollywood, Punjabi Pop), She is 100% Desi!
Observed that the NFS when it comes to fashion is completely immune to human discomfort.
She can wear strappy blouses and short skirts in freezing winter (”nahi, mere ko toa thandi bilkul nahi lagri”), thick sarees in the sweltering heat, and pencil stilletoes for hours on end, with a smile and no complaints as long it makes her look good and fetches her compliments.
Observed that the NFS has a superhuman memory and will remember every outfit of every other NFS, Including where and when it was worn, and if repeated, how many times and where! However, this amazing memory fails the NFS completely when it comes to the Male wardrobe and she will not even be able to recall what her husband wore the night before!
Observed that there are a few NQFS ( Nagpur ‘Queen’ Female Socialites) that all other NFS look up to and who set the trend! So if NQFS Savita Di (names changed to protect identity) promotes Halter tops and farm parties then all the rest will follow suit, and if another NQFS Ranjeeta ji, sports lenghas and large sunglasses then they will follow likewise. The NFS sometimes get huge stress figuring out which NQFS to follow!
Observed that the older the NFS gets, the shorter her skirts and more skimpy her outfits! It appears that ‘daring’ comes with maturity! Or probably better control over her mother-in-law.
Observed that the NFS is highly competitive and wants to keep up with, and even outdo, all others in every sphere. Clothes, jewellery, handbags, cars, parties, holidays, etc.
She acts as an excellent motivational force to her poor husband, who has to work himself to death to keep up with her expectations or come up with financial ‘schemes’ where the banks need not be repaid.
Observed that the NFS is a brilliant performer and can act very sweet and friendly even with an NFS she intensely dislikes! She will put up Oscar-winning performances when she spots one and greets her warmly with hugs, kisses etc, But seconds later will make a face and find a similarity between her and the ‘female of the cannine species!’
Observed that the NFS relationship with the NMS (Nagpur Male Socialite) is complex! She is cautious but friendly and not averse to an occasional flirtatious interaction. But will generally avoid talking to any NMS for more than 45 seconds and will dance only with other NFS to avoid being the target of the Nagpur Gossip Queens( NGQ), who prowl every event, hungry for new scandals.
Observed that the one thing the NFS never tires of is being photographed! In fact, it is believed that the sole purpose of her attending parties is not social interaction, but for pictures to upload onto Instagram and Facebook. She is ever-ready for selfies, group selfies, girlie group pics etc and will pose and pout perfectly no matter how many times she is photographed during the evening! The NFS does not like posing for these pics with the NMS as this species is useless and unable to pout sexily, spoiling the picture for use in social media.
So in the final analysis, the NFS is an attractive, well-groomed species, Intelligent and highly sociable!
But also confused…When designing her outfit for their next big society event, She doesn’t know if she should go with ‘pastels’ as advocated by NQFS ‘Savita Di’ or for ‘Skin tones and Black’ as Popularised by NQFS ‘Ranjeeta Ji!’
@bits_of_beauty_everywhere (#BOBE)